


Maybe A Place In The World

by flipflop_diva



Series: This Place In The World [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 2, F/M, Light Angst, Natasha Feels, Natasha-centric, POV Natasha Romanov, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Relationship, Protective Steve Rogers, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 10:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6324799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/pseuds/flipflop_diva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She didn’t know how she had gotten here.</p>
<p>No, that wasn’t true. She’d gotten here easily. She’d known exactly where Sam lived, had known Steve had been staying with him. What she didn't know was why she hadn't left yet.</p>
<p>Part 2 of 3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe A Place In The World

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Soundingonlyatnightasyousleep](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soundingonlyatnightasyousleep/gifts).



> Happy Purim Fest day 2! I hope you enjoy!

She didn’t know how she had gotten here.

No, that wasn’t true. She’d gotten here easily. She’d known exactly where Sam lived, had known Steve had been staying with him. After all, he had told her that in the many text messages he’d sent her that she’d never answered, checking to make sure she was okay and asking her to please just check in with him, he promised he wouldn’t blow her new cover (not that she had a new cover. Not that she was doing anything but running aimlessly, hiding from shadows, but he didn’t need to know that. Hell, no one needed to know that). 

It wasn’t hard to slip inside one day when they were both out, to make herself comfortable on the couch until they got back. Steve had almost knocked her out with his shield when they had returned, and Sam had almost flown at her — literally — before they realized it was her in their living room and not some unwanted intruder, and then once they had, Sam had actually grabbed her and hugged her, something that stunned her a lot more than them trying to kill her a few seconds earlier (that part she completely understood).

“It’s called a door, Natasha,” Steve had told her when Sam had let go of her, but they were both grinning, like they were glad she was there, even if she hadn’t bothered to call ahead.

“That’s called boring, Rogers” she had smirked back at him, and he’d mock glared, but then she’d asked them what was for dinner, and they had all sat around Sam’s kitchen table, eating pizza and Steve and Sam sharing updates on their failed attempts to find the Winter Soldier. Neither one asked her what she was doing there (though they clearly wanted to), and she hadn’t offered, but they also never asked her how long she was staying.

Except now it was ten days later and she was still here, curled up in Steve’s bed (well, Sam’s guest room bed but it was practically Steve’s now, since he had been here for weeks and there was practically a Captain America-shaped indent in the mattress). At the moment, her head was buried in a pillow that smelled like Steve and a blanket was over her head as she waited out the pounding in her temple, brought on by a nightmare she hoped no one had noticed she’d had.

She should have left a long time ago. It was just supposed to be a visit, a check in at most. She was curious how things were coming along on the search for the Winter Soldier — after all, the Winter Soldier had almost killed her twice. Of course she was curious. And concerned. Any reasonable person would be — and maybe she missed being around other people who used to do what she did. 

It was harder than she’d thought not to have SHIELD anymore, not to have missions and trainings and a purpose each and every day. And she’d bothered Clint enough the past few weeks that she couldn’t show up there again without him thinking she was going insane. Plus, Steve was the only other person in the world who understood what it had been like that day, watching everything they thought they knew, everything they thought they could count on, crumble before their eyes.

It wasn’t that she wanted to _talk_ to him about it, to open up and share her innermost feelings. But being around him — a man who had protected her, trusted her, befriended her, when he’d had no reason to — it felt almost nice. Comforting in a way she never expected. 

But that still didn’t explain why she was here, why she hadn’t left that very first night like she had intended to, or the next day or the day after that …

She was so focused on the thoughts running through her head, she almost missed the creak of the door opening, the soft footsteps moving across the floor. But before she could untangle herself from the mess of blankets she was buried in, a large warm hand was on her shoulder, gentle and comforting.

“Natasha?” She couldn’t see him with the blanket over her head, but she could picture the sympathetic expression on his face, could picture his probing eyes, looking her over like he was worried about her. “You want to talk about it?”

She closed her eyes tighter and tried to push her head deeper into the pillows. No, she definitely did not want to talk about it.

She felt the bed dip as he sat down beside her, his hand still tender on her shoulder. “I have nightmares, too, you know.”

She did know. She’d been sleeping beside him for the past six days — also something she wasn’t completely sure why she was doing, except she did get a kick out of the expression on Steve’s face every time she crawled into bed with less clothes on than she had the night previous. Teasing him never got old — but on half of those days, she had watched him wrestle with his own demons in the dark of night, and she’d found herself wrapping her arms around him until he’d calmed down.

She thought he had known, but maybe he hadn’t.

“You can trust me, you know,” he was saying to her now. “I know it’s hard, but if you ever want to talk, your secrets are safe with me.”

She rolled over at that, pushing the blanket away from her face so she could look into his eyes — his very sincere blue eyes that almost made her feel like she was falling.

“I know.” She didn’t say anything else, but his smile told her he understood. And the worst part was she knew he did.

Two months ago, on the run in a borrowed car, she had told herself that not trusting anyone was the right thing to do. Now she was actually contemplating telling her secrets to a guy who was the epitome of everything she wasn’t.

She should have left ten days ago. Actually she never should have come.

She had a feeling it was much too late to turn back now.

**Author's Note:**

> 


End file.
